11th : I fall to rise again

Its been quite some time since I've written or posted anything on this blog. What can I say, life have been busy or maybe I've been sloppy.

The tale continues after the results of 1th were out but juss before that a mentioning of my brother.
My brother was really very fat back then. He was around 120 kgs nd everybody used to taunt nd say things nd all. He did 1 thing which is like the 8th wonder. He lost 50 kgs (can u believe that). He got slim nd I was still plumpy so the targets shifted more on me. But well I was busy too wid things so didn't had much time for it. After 10th exams it was going to be a long vacations. So I started working out with my bro. And then after a lot of sweat nd running I finally started to loose weight.

During Dua sir's tution I was not yet slim nd had fat quite a lot on my body. So in summers also to hide my fat I used to wear a denim jacket nd believe it got very hot under it. Some guyz there even joked on me for that but I ignored all.
I got better from before when skools re-opened. Still not perfektly slim but improvements were genuine. In skool it got tough with change in subjects. Though I didn't got the subjects I wished for but not sad with the consolation prize. With more subjects came more tutions. With more tutions it got hard to work-out netym in day. So I started working out arnd 11. It wasn't a great thing cuz at home everyone scolded for it. But believe me I can do anything but not wake up early. It was juss exams I cud manage to keep my eyes open in mornings. It was taking some toll on my body, less sleep nd incomplete assignments but had some determination for it.

In 10th only it happened that Ankit, Arpit nd others formed a yahoo group "Youth of Roorkee".Well it had 11 members a s I remember namely - Ankit, Arpit, Vidur, Sakshi, Dhruv, Komal, Shubh, Varun, Vinnie, Vishal nd myself. It was great group nd we had lots of fun there. Conference chatting, fliriting a bit nd great sharing. But certain events took place nd in an attempt to beter it I spoiled the party nd ruined it. Felt gravely bad. Lost lot of trust nd respect too. Sometimes there r things we do which we can't re-pay even if we want to.

I got to Orkut in 11th nd tried to continue the group there but it didn't worked nd crash nd burn.
On orkut life got different.Didn't knew wht I was getting into then but it seemed so good to socialize. It became a permanent thing nd devloped lot more intrest in dat.

In 11th my friends incresed nd they became my life-long best friends. Manik was in my class only but not Dhruv. In my class there were juss 5 girls in the begining - Alpana, Trisha, Ayushi, Mallika nd Surbhi. But later in 12th Alpana got back to St. Anns nd Ayushi left the skool. But well not much regret on that cuz had a great list of buddies.

Also in 11th, 1 year senior to me Shubham Sharma (from the first post), Tabish nd Tanmeya became my friends. They r some friends which I have still nd will be there forever I hope. It was in skool only when one day Sharma nd Tabish came to my class. Sharma nd myself knew each other as has seen each othr in badminton field only. So we both kind of struck a spark of friendship. If I have to describe Sharma ever then I would juss smile. He has a tremendous sense of humour. The best till date I've seen.

In 11th I started with my friends Prakhar, Abhay, Manik nd Utkarsh. Utkarsh again is a jolly humorous feelow. A lot different than I was. He used to listen to hard rock nd I wasn't pretty comfortable with it. We both became great buddies in quick tym. Uski saale ki harkatey bhi ajeeb hi hoti thi. Mast chillax banda. Uske saath IIT mein bahaut Activa daudaya hai. It was first few times I was out of house enjoyin in the open air.
Time ke saath sabse dosti bhadi nd we all rocked in class. Bahaut masti taari. Fultoo mazze kiye. Though somewhere some things got different nd difficult like with Dhruv in the other section. He stopped coming home. Used to talk occasionaly nd dint really like much of my other friends group. We both sort of started gettin apart. Then he fell for a girl Mallika Rathore. Though I alwayz didn't approved of his choice. Told him to think again about it but he didn't.

Then there was another thing which happened. My bro's best buddy Arjun bhaiya came bak on vactions as he was studying abroad so he was rarely here. Since he was here I interacted quite lot with him nd it was good knowing him. He came to skool nd then after meeting principal he was invited to take some class on personality devlopment. He did those classes nd the skool became a fan of his nd so was I.

Its 1 day when he was a t skool nd I didn't go to skool dat day but came to skool later to pik him up. Also that day another event took place which was that 3 girls of my class went for a whole day bunk nd dat was a big thing since they were girls. There was a lot controversy on it too but thats not what we r worrying abt. So I was there at skool nd after a long tym I felt for a girl. I was attracted to the girl's nature so much that I thgt I was in love. Ofcourse it was not long when my friends too discovered about it nd started teasing me. I din't knew she knew it or not but I really used to like seeing her everyday. Dhruv was knew her better nd he knew that I liked her too but I didn't knew that she liked someone else.

It so happened in September 2006 that she proposed that guy nd the guy said yes. I was quite bit Shattered by it. My exams in September went the worst. First time I had a resul with failing in 4 subjects. I was not that bad in studies but I didn't concentrated on it at all. It was all my fault. I lost it in October month nd did few things am not really writing about. Certain events took place. Fights took place. Nd strangely I didn't realized my mistake. Not only I didn't saw I was fightin wid my best friend but never saw that I was being partial to my friendship. I did bad things nd resluts were we both never remained friends.
Class divided between him nd me. I never talked with him again till few days back in summer of 2010.
Those events were my worst decisions nd I paid for them. Still breaks my heart that I did something like that but happy that I paid for it later.

In November the girl I liked suffered a broke up nd I used to chat all the whyl with her on the net. Though I alwayz knew dat she was lying to me about many things but I really liked her so ignored all of it nd our chats continued to late nights.

Meanwhile Utkarsh reduced hanging out with me cuz his results got pretty bad too nd he got on to studying. That time I usually was out with Sharma, Tabish nd Tanmeya at Solani with bun-omellete in hand in the evenings. Had some best time there sitting, talking, laughing nd relaxing.

Sharma became the one guy who then knew abt my chats nd evrythin which was goin on. He was the person I used to talked to nd also a friend I made through him, Shruti. Well both were kind of counciler to me. I didn't had somebody at home with whom I cud've shared all that nd so Sharma became my best buddy.

Not to miss 1 guy in skool who not only is a great person but has the best advice everytym. Soheb Malik, a guy I still think am lucky I have as a friend. He was with me on my activa most of the tym roaming around the streets of Roorkee. We both became friends skool nd then with tym the best buddies. We both together joined Options4u for C++ coaching. We both bunked more than we attended classes. We both spent a lot evenings at Solani eating Bhatia's Bun-omellete. Some times Sharma nd party too joined in. Nescafe became our adda nd there wasn't one evening we didn't went there. Itni ice tea Nescafe @ IIT-R ki kissi ne nahi pi hogi jitni hum dono ne. It became more nd more familiar spending time there. The guyz at nescafe started rem us nd it became a lot friendly. We were there every day. Nescafe is again an inseprable part of me nd my lyf. Soheb is a buddy without whom my 11th nd 12th wud've been incomplete.

In 11th during class all friends were alwayz there to protect nd support. Abhay, Prakhar, Utkarsh, Bharat nd others. All r like precious fractions of my soul.
Every friend of mine is in my soul forever nd will alwyz be even if we don't talk much.

Later that year my exam results went bad to worse. Nd then came 11th finals.

29th March I guess it was nd I recieved the biggest shock I cud have ever recieved.
My parents were that time in that class room where the results where being given nd my class teacher wrote the deadly word on my report card "Detained". I saw that nd all the blood in my body seemed to be rushing only to my brain. I lost conciousness nd was about to fall. It was nd is the biggest shock I've ever faced in my life. It was a black day for me. I had let my parents down. I had let myslef down. I was shattered. I wanted to die.
I didn't knew what wud happen. Returning home I went to Sharma's place nd he too was shcoked by the result. Then I had a call from Soheb. Soheb had the same reslut as mine nd I was sad as I thgt it was partly my fault too. Soheb was crying nd it was the first time I heard him cry. He was at Solani nd was sayin me to come over nd said he wanted to die. I rushed there with Sharma nd Tabish also reached there. They were there nd talked to him. Well it was very hard to cope from that. But he got back to his senses then after. Tabish went wid Soheb to drop him home nd I came back to my house.

That year in 11th a lot of students have failed nd so a special exam was held for those failing in only 2 exams. But since I was failing in 4 so I was detained. My parents helped me in that time nd talked to the principal. Since in the grand total I was failing in 2 subjects so I was given the opportunity to give that special paper nd so did happen with Soheb.

My parents are like God to me nd that I realized in those days. They didn't scolded me but inspired me to improve. I was shattere dat that time but they were the ones who never lost a piece of me. They were my back nd seeing that I studied wid most concentration. Those days I studied like an IITian. I had let my parents down nd have to rise again from the fall. Few of my friends were there for me including Sharma, Tanmeya, Tabish, Bharat nd Soheb. Others also cared but that month was a hard going. I was failing in physics nd computer. I read the abc of physics like never before nd took lessons of c++ at Yogesh sir's tution nd he brought out the programmer in me. But it was not my aim then, it was the exams on 23rd nd 24th.
I gave those exams nd passes with flying colours. Though I did great but the satisfaction still was not there. Had a lot to get bak which was lost.

It changed me completely - 11th class. I learnt a lot from it nd since then I kno that failiures can hurt but teaches u a lot. Never be disheartened but put in efforts to bounce back towards success. I now had the strength to face failiures nd so defeat it.

12th is an important class to as it was last year in the skool.......